Kids at the Schnitz


I just returned home from seeing some of my very favourite people: Kevin, Scott, Bruce, Dave and Mark.

They did some renditions of old sketches, and they did some new sketches. And they were fucking hilarious.

There was a lot of improv, of course. Bruce did the most breaking-character-and-laughing, which in turn made the audience roll. 😀

In one bit, Kevin and Dave are two drunk guys in a bar. Dave says he’s invented a way to get around Last Call: he’s made a time machine so that he can go back two, maybe three minutes, and have another beer.
Kevin tells Dave that only a pathetic, horrible drunk would invent a time machine just to get drunker better, and Dave starts to sulk.
So Kevin consoles Dave by stroking his face.
Dave smiled, and Kevin stroked his face again.
Dave tried not to laugh. The audience laughed harder. Dave laughed. Kevin got a Kevin grin on his face…. and reached over and grabbed Dave’s crotch.
Dave’s eyes got huge and he nearly screamed with laughter, and as he had his eyes shut, Kevin grabbed him again!
It took a minute or two for everyone (including those on stage) to calm down enough to continue. Kevin said his next line, which was “even if you DID have a time machine, what would you do with it??” and Dave said, through muffled giggles, “start the sketch over?!”
I still giggle thinking of it ^_^

Another sketch involved Bruce and Mark as their classic salesmen characters. They were talking about a product Bruce had called the Gut Spigot, which you can use to get rid of your unwanted fat. It had a really silly premise, and so the two of them spent the entire time going way overboard with the gestures and voices and basically fucking with each other. Mark was much better at holding in the laughter than Bruce was. At one point Mark was making his ‘sales pitch’ to the audience and ended up on his belly on the stage floor right in some guy’s face. Then he got back up again and said some more lines, and Bruce was trying not to laugh, so Mark continued his spiel whilst placing the top of his head against Bruce’s neck and proceeding to bull-push him across the stage. Bruce lost it at that point and we all spent the next minute or two in fits. Then Bruce started to talk about how fat is combustible and we could power all our SUVs with the fat removed from our own guts. Mark’s next line was, “So you mean to tell me, the answer to our oil crisis lies beneath the dresses of those immense chicks we fingerbanged in Texas last night??” and held up two fingers. Bruce answered “Why yes!”, grinned, and held up four fingers. Mark held up his fist. Bruce lost it again.

There was a SuperDrunk sketch in which Bruce played the guy who gains super powers when super drunk, and Dave plays his sidekick the Bartender. Some criminals show up, and the Bartender tries to get SuperDrunk riled up to fight by yelling things at him.. Bruce turned around and yelled “well YOU’RE the one sporting a MAN-GINA, FOLEY!!” Everyone (actors included, of course) laughed heartily at that one.

We also saw Buddy Cole, and the Chicken Lady, and Kathy and Cathy.

The end of the show involved Head Crusher convicting each Kid of whatever and executing them, and as Kevin came up to the Crusher’s camera (which was being projected on the screen behind them), Kevin started to babble and whine. Mark consoled him by stroking his cheeks, and then sticking his fingers in Kevin’s mouth for him to suck.. then he went up to Kevin’s nose (this is all close-up on the giant screen) and stuck his finger in there, and then said “you want some? you want some??” while Kevin said “ohhh gimme gimme mmmmmmm”.. in went the fingers again to Kevin’s mouth, and then he started laughing too.

You can tell they are having tons of fun with this tour… none of them spent more than 30 seconds being totally serious I think.

My face still hurts from grinning for almost two hours.

I love those guys ^_^